Coaching People from Heartbreak to Happiness

• “It just takes time.” Taking action heals, where taking time just prolongs grief.
   
• “I know how you feel.” The reality is, none of us knows how anyone else feels at any given moment. Instead, invite the person to share how they are feeling.
   
• “It was just God’s will.” This phrase can create problems for people with spirituality and faith, instead of offering answers.
  
• “You need to keep busy.” Many people suffering from grief also suffer from exhaustion because they are trying to keep busy to cover up the pain.
  
• “Be grateful for what you had.” Gratitude is great, but honor what people are feeling in the moment. Any version of “don’t feel bad” is negating their experience and can add guilt to the grief.

• “I don’t know what to say.” Some things can’t be fixed. Understand that it’s not your role to solve the problem. Just be there for them; listen and love them.
  
• “You are not alone.” No matter what someone is going through, those are comforting words.
  
• “My heart goes out to you.”
  
• “I can’t imagine how you feel?” Not interrogating, but gently questioning.
  
• “What happened?” Ask about the facts. People appreciate the opportunity to share.

1. Acknowledge & validate their feelings
2. Listen without fixing
3. Give hope & encouragement

• Express your feelings – If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it. Resisting keeps you stuck. A coach can really help with this.
   
• Accept whatever has happened as if you had chosen it and release all victim energy. 
   
• Forgive everyone everything right now. It’s your ticket to freedom in your own happiness, because forgiveness is for you.
  
• Lend others a helping hand once you’ve conquered your own challenges. There is meaning to what you’ve gone through, and helping others can finish the process of your own healing.